Just two more weeks left.
Two more weeks of being on call, and problem solving and hanging out with pregnant women and being a little midwife in training.
I don't want it to be over. For some reason the universe was in a good mood when assigning life experiences, and I ended up with a really wonderful placement. All the midwives at my practice are kind, and easy to get along with, and seem like they want students to do well. So, of course I don't want that to end.
I mean, I am tired. And sick. Oh boy am I sick. Hacking up a lung and trying not to sound like an 86 year old woman with liver spots is the entirety of my "to do" list. It's fucking digesting. And, like, really awful being around brand new babies and pregnant women. Like "oh, excuse me while I having this coughing fit while I am giving you a vaginal exam, sorry was that super awkward and uncomfortable?"
So once I am not sick, I have one more paper to write and then two more weeks of midwifery fun and then home.
Home for the summer. *sighs* I'm having a lot of feelings about this summer. It's my last break before I graduate and then get to apply for real grown-ass woman midwifery jobs. So I want it to count. My fear is that I will be bored. I'm turning 25 in June. People who are turning 25 shouldn't be bored. Well, two more weeks and then I can work on figuring out how to be un-bored. I have given 1000% of my mental energy to being in placement and being present so it's actually kind of surprising that I have this whole life to keep living. Delightful, but strange. I think this is probably the part where I should start making "goals" and "intentions" and figuring out "what direction my life is going in" because if one more person asks "what are your plans for the summer?" I'm just going to say "polygamy!!!" (because they don't actually care and how awesome would that be?) At the risk of this being the most obvious statement since the age of marriage and childbearing increased: being in your twenties is weird. It totally is, right? It's like your not quite allowed the same forgiveness that people give 18 year olds but you're also not 30 and don't have your life entirely "together" (even though everyone who is 30 is all "oh that won't ever happen so don't worry about it kid", thanks, that's...reassuring). Blech. Maybe some answers will just come up and smack me in the face this summer, or fall into my lap, or find me on Tindr. Fingers crossed on that last one.
Well writing this has drained my energy reserve so I'm going to go lie in the fetal position until my phone rings and demands that I do something else.
And hey, thanks for reading. You're the best.
PS Have you liked my blog's Facebook page? Or followed me on twitter? What about instagram? Just saying: those are all rad things you could do...