two more weeks

Just two more weeks left. 
Two more weeks of being on call, and problem solving and hanging out with pregnant women and being a little midwife in training. 
I don't want it to be over. For some reason the universe was in a good mood when assigning life experiences, and I ended up with a really wonderful placement. All the midwives at my practice are kind, and easy to get along with, and seem like they want students to do well. So, of course I don't want that to end. 
I mean, I am tired. And sick. Oh boy am I sick. Hacking up a lung and trying not to sound like an 86 year old woman with liver spots is the entirety of my "to do" list. It's fucking digesting. And, like, really awful being around brand new babies and pregnant women. Like "oh, excuse me while I having this coughing fit while I am giving you a vaginal exam, sorry was that super awkward and uncomfortable?" 
So once I am not sick, I have one more paper to write and then two more weeks of midwifery fun and then home. 
Home for the summer. *sighs* I'm having a lot of feelings about this summer. It's my last break before I graduate and then get to apply for real grown-ass woman midwifery jobs. So I want it to count. My fear is that I will be bored. I'm turning 25 in June. People who are turning 25 shouldn't be bored. Well, two more weeks and then I can work on figuring out how to be un-bored. I have given 1000% of my mental energy to being in placement and being present so it's actually kind of surprising that I have this whole life to keep living. Delightful, but strange. I think this is probably the part where I should start making "goals" and "intentions" and figuring out "what direction my life is going in" because if one more person asks "what are your plans for the summer?" I'm just going to say "polygamy!!!" (because they don't actually care and how awesome would that be?) At the risk of this being the most obvious statement since the age of marriage and childbearing increased: being in your twenties is weird. It totally is, right? It's like your not quite allowed the same forgiveness that people give 18 year olds but you're also not 30 and don't have your life entirely "together" (even though everyone who is 30 is all "oh that won't ever happen so don't worry about it kid", thanks, that's...reassuring). Blech. Maybe some answers will just come up and smack me in the face this summer, or fall into my lap, or find me on Tindr. Fingers crossed on that last one. 
Well writing this has drained my energy reserve so I'm going to go lie in the fetal position until my phone rings and demands that I do something else. 
And hey, thanks for reading. You're the best. 

PS Have you liked my blog's Facebook page? Or followed me on twitter? What about instagram? Just saying: those are all rad things you could do...


internet stuff for reading enjoyment

Oh don't mind me, just sitting in my bed, surrounded by a pile of used tissues and empty emergen-c packets. I have a spring cold, and it's really kind of disgusting and most inconvenient. I suppose this is what happens when one works in hospitals. You guys, I'm finished my placement in three weeks. Three weeks. Did I do that thing with the expressing a thought and then re-expressing it in italics to really emphasize how unbelievable it is? Oh yes? Well carry on then. (But just in case three weeks!) They seem like both the longest and shortest three weeks of my life. Thankfully, the weather is improving dramatically. I might be throwing caution to the wind by saying this out loud but Spring is, I think, here to stay. We have had some gloriously sunny days. Days that warranted bare feet in flats and the lightest weight trench coats. Beers on patios are just around the corner! I'm also reading a very interesting novel, it's kind of giving me the heebie-jeebies but it's really well written and making me want to read more, so I will move bravely forward. I'm on-call this weekend but hoping to go to a local maple syrup farm for a fun afternoon! What are you guys up to? Here's some stuff from around the internet for your reading enjoyment...

excellent life intel: how to flirt

girl, you've got to love yourself first

a lost art we could all rediscover

5 things to do before you make a big decision

for my avid reader readers: books worth binge-reading and also 6 addictive books worth reading

up your travel photography game

actual life hack: the three product make-up bag

you had me at gin: 10 gin drinks to make this spring 

a quick, healthy and filling snack

totally jamming out to this this weekend

I'm a bit overexcited about this recipe

Have a fantastic weekend!


adventures in sydney land

Oh hello! Long time, no talk, my friends. My poor blog has fallen by the wayside, as of late. On one hand, I think it's a good thing. I'm spending significantly less time aimlessly browsing the internet. But on the other, I miss getting to synthesize my thoughts and create new things. Midwifery is wonderful. But it's a bit of a niche market (there are only so many times I can ask my friends if they "want to see a picture of this really cool placenta".) Although, I'm sure it's interesting from an outsiders point of view. There are many things I have learned while in this placement, but one of the most salient is this: nobody knows about birth. It's not talked about. Or if it is it's only on an individual experience level, people telling each other scary stories or being like "that's weird, that didn't happen to me when I was pregnant". There isn't knowledge about what birth is, what happens and what to do when it does happen. So partly I'm not here every day writing about midwifery because I save that for my clients. But that doesn't mean there aren't a thousand other wonderful things I can talk and learn about, right?!
And also, I'm tired. There is such a thing in midwifery as a "baby storm", it happens when for reasons unbeknownst to us, many babies all come at once. My preceptor and I attended 8 births in 7 days last week. That is just too many babies in so many days. I was tired last week and I really didn't take proper advantage of being home on the weekend, so I'm tired now. Like, really tired now. I usually get 48 hours off in a row, letting me come home on Saturday morning and driving back early Monday morning. I go out on Saturday night, spend all of Sunday hungover and then feel ick on Monday too. Well that ick has seeped into Tuesday and to be quite honest I feel like shit. What do to about that? Nothing. There is nothing to do, I just have to power through. Eat well, drink less coffee and keep my eye on the prize: passing this course.
Only three more weeks left! Literally how did this happen? I feel like I just got here. I also feel about five years older than I did when I first arrived. Partly, I'm sure because of the tired/ick thing. But also because I feel like I know what I'm doing and have a much better grasp on being a midwife. Before placement started, I didn't feel grounded at all. Midwifery still felt like a very abstract concept, something I'd only read about in a book. Because that's literally all the experience I had with it. But now I feel like my feet are firmly planted on the ground, and it's awesome. Midwifery is fantastic. It's the best. It is certainly not for everyone, let me tell you. I mean that from a client and a student perspective. But for me? It's a good fit. It feels awkward to say that, because I live in perpetual fear that me saying that will set of a series of events proving the exact opposite, but that's kind of silly. So I'll say it again: midwifery and I are a good fit. I highly doubt you'll see me rise in fame in the midwifery world, but I like what being a midwife means and the day to day stuff is interesting and engaging, and attending births is a bonus.
So three more weeks of brain filling and baby catching and then I have my very last summer vacation. Oh the things I want to do! I have such grand adventures planned in my head! Ah, you guys, that was such an excellent proper blog post. A gold star for me, and one for you! Happiest of Tuesdays xo

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